


I Couldn't Know Him Better (If I Knew His Name)

by rainbow_nerds



Series: So many Somethings [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Canon Disabled Character, Childhood Friends, Gay Bucky Barnes, Light Angst, M/M, Mostly fluff and pining, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, She Loves Me (Musical) inspired, Slow Burn, Steve Rogers would not be pro-US military post WWII fight me, War Veteran Bucky Barnes, friends to idiots to lovers, identity porn-ish, penpals, some body image issues, with a happy ending, you've got mail - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:14:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23220805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbow_nerds/pseuds/rainbow_nerds
Summary: Nine year old Steve Rogers signed up for a school pen-pal programme hoping to make a friend who would like him as he was. He found so much more, but life got in the way.Now pushing thirty, Steve has a good life, but still wonders what could have been if he hadn't lost touch with his old penpal- turned best friend (turned hardcore teen crush).When an email comes from Bucky, all these years later,  he falls back into friendship all too easily. He only wishes that his obnoxious new neighbour would stop being so distracting.(OR: The neighbors/You've got mail AU I have been working on for far too long)
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, blink and you'll miss it past Steve Rogers/Peggy Carter
Series: So many Somethings [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1694971
Comments: 254
Kudos: 382





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文-普通话 國語 available: [[授翻 请勿转载]（虽无名，然）知君莫若我](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23902408) by [flyingmax](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyingmax/pseuds/flyingmax)



> I'm bad at summaries!  
> Title from "I Don't know His Name" from the musical She Loves Me.  
> Shout out to Katchsudon for talking me into starting to post this!  
> I have the full story written and will be uploading roughly every other day while i'm here in isolation! 
> 
> (PS - there are some deliberate spelling/grammar errors in this first chapter. I was just trying to write like a 9 or 10 year old would. I hope it's not distracting or irritating but if it is, let me know and i'll fix them!)

January 2000

To my penpal.

Hi! My name is Bucky. Its not my real name but my mom said I can’t tell a stranger my real name, cause I’m a kid. I told her youre a kid too but she told me I had to use my nickname. It’s ok I guess I always like my nickname better, and since your gonna be my friend I guess it makes sense for ya to use my nickname anyways!

I live in Indiana and its super boring but my friends are cool and I like going to the park with them. We play ball and stuff but I always gotta be home earlier than them cause I have little sisters and they won’t go to bed unless I’m home too. Its soo dumb.

Anyways Im ten years old and my favourite movie is the little mermaid. I hope you don’t laugh at that, my buddies sometimes tease me cause they say it’s a girls movie but its really good I swear! I like other movies too but that’s the best I think. What’s your favourite movie? 

I can’t think of anything else to write and my mom is yelling for me to do my real homework so I guess ill say bye! Hope you get the letter ok and I cant wait to hear back from you.

Till next time,

Bucky.

To Bucky

Hi Bucky! My name is Steve. It is my real name but when I asked my mom she said it was fine as long as I don’t tell you my FULL real name so there ya go. I was so excited to get your letter I didn’t think I would get it so quick after teacher said they were coming!

I live in Brooklyn with my mom, just the two of us. I think it’d be swell to go to the park with my friends but mom said it’s too dangerous without grownups, plus I might get sick, so I can’t.

Little mermaid is a great movie! My favourite character is the lobster, and the songs are the best ever! Your pals sound silly saying it’s just for girls because its really not. I get teased sometimes too cause I’m small and like I said I get sick a lot. But the people that do it aren’t my friends. They’re just bullies and I try to stand up to em but it doesn’t usually work out too good. My favourite movie is Hercules though cause I want to turn big and strong the way Hercules does in the movie.

I don’t really know what else I can say but I hope you write back cause it’s nice to have a buddy even if we don’t even live in the same state, its still cool. Thanks for writing Bucky!

Your penpal,

Steve

(P.S. I’m nine years old)

Hi Steve!

I’m happy to hear from you too! Im sorry that kids are mean to you, but you got a friend in me now! That’s from toy story haha me and my sisters saw the new one in the theater a couple of weeks back and now Becks (she’s 5) won’t stop watching the first one we have on tape so the song is stuck in my head! Its true though!

I don’t know how this pen pal thing works honestly my teacher hasn’t really talked about it since she collected the first set of letters to send off so I guess I’ll just talk about anything I want since I don’t think she really reads them.

I don’t really like school, except for gym and sometimes math I guess, but only the times when we do shapes and measuring stuff because the number stuff on its own is just SO BORING right? I wanna be a soldier when I grow up cause I wanna go on adventures and an army guy came into my school last week and we got out of class and it was so cool I cant wait to be big enough to join!

Do you know what you wanna do when you’re big? And do you like school?

Gotta go Stevie cant wait to hear back from you. You seem like youre really cool and I hope we stay penpals forever!

Till next time,

Bucky.

  
  


Bucky,

Thanks again for your letters. Took me a while to get this one cause I was out sick from school for a week but it made me happy to get it when I got back in! sorry if it made you wait, but im ok now and I’m gonna try make this one longer to make up!

I saw that in the theater too this weekend! My mom had a day off so we went together and it was so good but I got pretty sad when you saw jessie being left behind. Don’t tell anyone but I cried at it and had to pretend like I was still sick and just blowing my nose or something cause some of the kids from school were there and they woulda teased me for it. I don’t think you would tease me though, cause you seem nice.

I like school fine but I always feel dumb because I’m always missing stuff when I’m sick and can’t come in. I like art class though, I’m good at drawing. Maybe Ill send you one of my drawings some day when I’m good enough? I wanna be an artist, and I drew a pretty good Willy Wonka when we read that in class before this penpal thing but I can’t draw Oompa Loompas yet. I’m workin on it. I bet you’re super clever though, if you like things in math (even if it’s not everything!)

My dad was a soldier or so my mom tells me. I never knew him but there’s pictures of him in his uniform and stuff and he got some medals that mom keeps on her dresser. I can tell she misses him a lot sometimes but she tells me she’s happy with just me. I dunno. I bet you’ll be a great soldier, and you’ll be a hero just like he was!

This letter is a bit of a downer sorry, so I’ll tell you a funny story to end it! Mom was walking with me to the subway to see my doctor yesterday to make sure I was good to go back to school, and there was this dude with a dog. Well he didn’t seem really very nice, his face was angry but then the dog saw a pigeon and ran after it and the guy didn’t notice until the leash pulled him and he fell over and almost got dragged after the dog but then someone stopped the dog and got him to go back to the guy and he looked SO MAD when he stood up he had dirt all over his suit and even some of a smoothie someone else had dropped on the sidewalk! He looked so silly and I laughed so hard at him. The dog was so cool too and I got to pet him while the guy was fixing his clothes up so it was a good time.

Hope this is long enough to make up for the delay!

Your penpal,

Steve.

(ps I hope we stay penpals forever too!)

~~~

May 2019

From:  [ buckaroo1980@yahoo.com ](mailto:buckaroo1980@yahoo.com)

To:  [ Steviebear123@gmail.com ](mailto:Stevietheguy@gmail.com)

Hey Stevie.

It’s been a while, huh? I’m sorry we lost touch. I really doubt you still check this email account but I had to try. (I may have had to bribe my friend to hack my old account for me so I could access our emails, don’t tell the fbi!)

I’ve missed you a lot these last few years, but honestly I didn’t know what to say or if you’d even wanna talk to me after I went awol on you. I’m so sorry Stevie, I just had to say it even if you might never read this.

How have you been? Last I heard you were headed to college, and now here I am, ten years later, finally following along after you like I always have. Ha.

Anyway, there’s so much more I wanted to say but it all feels a little cheap now I realise that I’m essentially talking to an internet void. I tried looking you up but then I remembered that in all those years of friendship, we never did share our real names. Lots of guys called Steve in New York. If you’re even still in the city.

You have no idea how much I’ve missed you buddy, and I know I don’t deserve it but I really hope we can be pals again, at least a little bit. I’ve been through hell and spent the whole time thinking what I might say to you if I got to talk to you again. 

Till next time, I hope.

Bucky. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky reconnect after ten years.  
> Steve gets off on the wrong foot with his new neighbor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major thanks to cap_and_cyborg for the beta read! Any errors still there are mine <3
> 
> Also, for the texts - Steve is bold, Bucky is italics!

Steve wasn’t sure why he kept that old email address. The only things that came through on it anymore were the odd Facebook notification or spam from some store he bought a pen from in 2010. Still, he went in every now and again to clear his inbox and, well. He hated to admit it, even to himself, but sometimes he would find himself looking back over old email conversations. Conversations with Bucky. It had been close to ten years since the last email he got from Bucky and he had long since memorized it, but still, he would log in and check. Just in case something had changed. It never did.

He had a pretty decent life, he had to say. Good friends, something close to a dream job, even if it wasn’t the steadiest income and his clients could be dicks sometimes. He had even managed to find a half decent apartment, too, within budget. Nicer still, now that the forty-year-old frat boy across the way had moved out and he could finally have an actually  _ quiet _ quiet-night-in for the first time since he had moved in there a year ago. He sat down, deciding to just check his email quickly before switching over to Netflix while he waited for his takeout to arrive. He was about to delete all of the new emails in his old inbox, dismissing them as spam, before his eye caught on a familiar email address. 

His cursor hovered over the email address as he stared in surprise. It couldn’t be real, surely? Bucky didn’t talk to him anymore. They weren’t friends, they weren't part of each other’s lives anymore. But here it was, in black and white. An email from Bucky, dated only a few days prior. Steve held his breath as his mind reeled, eventually clicking on the email to read it. He released the breath he had been holding as he scanned the email, barely taking in the content as his eyes misted over at the familiar manner of speech. It wasn’t the light-hearted, joking Bucky he remembered, but there could be no doubt that it was him.

Steve must have read that email a dozen times before he managed to fully comprehend the contents. Something had happened. Bucky was not in a good place, and Steve’s heart broke that he hadn’t been there to help him for the last ten years. He had thought about reaching out so many times over the years, but what would he have said? “Hey Buck, I know you basically told me I was a dick and you never wanted to speak to me again, and I know that you were 100% correct about that, but how’s life?” He snorted distantly. He had been holding on to that old argument for so long that he had let it hold him back from keeping in touch. The dumb thing was, he hardly even remembered what it had been about.

He was pulled out of his reverie by the sound of the doorbell ringing. He buzzed the delivery guy in and distractedly paid for his food, barely registering the boxes stacked across the hall which indicated that he had a new neighbor. He ate silently,, not even really registering the taste as he pondered over what to reply to Bucky with.

It was late at night before he finally began typing, and later still when he actually hit send. He fell into bed fully clothed, emotionally exhausted, and fell asleep pretty much immediately.

\--

Bucky,

Hi. Wow. I’m so glad to hear from you, you have no idea how much I’ve missed you. I’m still in good old Brooklyn, I never ended up leaving for college after all. I’m not sure if you heard about Mom, but she got sick and I decided to stay with her. I’m glad I did. I miss her.

Anyway, I studied here in the city and I’m in graphic design now. It’s good, I’m good. You’re in college now? What are you studying? I’m happy for you.

I’m really sorry, Buck, for not keeping in touch, for the way things ended, for everything. I wish I could go back and change things, be more supportive, but. Well. You know me, I never could back down. I’m so fucking happy you’re alright. I’m sorry for not apologizing before. 

Now you mention it, it is kinda weird we never shared our names. We shared so much of ourselves, I felt like I knew you better than anyone else, and you knew me, but if we passed each other on the street we wouldn’t even recognize each other. I sometimes thought about that, when you were gone. I’d be in the grocery store, or the park, and I’d see a guy and I couldn’t help but wonder, ya know? Even though I knew you were overseas. Dumb right? But it was always there in my head, you could be anyone. Hell, I could be anyone to you. 

I like to think I’d know, though. If I met you. Maybe. Sorry for rambling. I missed you. I said that already. 

And don’t be hard on yourself. I never blamed you for what went down, especially once I cooled off, but by then, well. We both know I’m not great at taking the first step. So I’m glad you reached out, because of COURSE we can be pals again. To me, you never stopped being my best friend. Even if you’ve changed, even if we both have. You’re still you. You’re still Bucky. 

Your penpal,

Steve.

(PS, I don’t think the fbi would care all that much about your old email account from 2008 being hacked, somehow)

\--

When Steve woke the next morning, he felt a vague sense of apprehension before unlocking his phone, hesitating only briefly before opening his email app as he rolled out of bed. The blank inbox seemed to be mocking him and he briefly wondered if he had dreamt the whole thing, but no, there was the email from Bucky, and his reply, nestled snugly together. Locking his phone, Steve determined not to dwell on it. A reply would come when (and if) it came. He followed his everyday morning routine, getting changed into his running gear while the coffee brewed and drinking quickly before brushing his teeth and heading out.

He was just plugging in his headphones on his way out the door, when he realized the hallway was not as empty as it usually was. Boxes were piled up outside apartment 3B, and voices were coming from inside.

“I want you to know, as grateful as I am for your help, I really wish you could have helped at a non-insane hour of the morning. Seriously, only psychopaths are up this early.” A snort followed the voice and Steve caught a glimpse of red hair through the open front door, moving towards the entryway. He quickly made a move to look as though he weren’t eavesdropping, but he had been spotted. 

“James, why don’t you stop sulking and come meet your neighbor.” The redhead spoke, and a man with shoulder length brown hair made his way out after her. Steve swallowed. The guy was seriously attractive, but he looked like he was fit to murder anyone who got in his way. 

“James Barnes.” The man grunted. “Pleasure to meet you.” His tone implied it was anything but, and Steve kept his face carefully neutral. The guy could either be a dick or just someone in need of a strong coffee.

“Steve Rogers: psychopath, apparently.” The guy – James – snorted, but there didn’t seem to be any amusement in the gesture, as he immediately bent down and picked up a box one handed, turning back into the apartment. 

“Nat, we are gonna finish this soon and you are gonna buy me the largest fuckin coffee you can imagine,” he grunted as he moved out of sight. The woman, Nat, looked far more amused than her friend. (Partner? Sibling? Steve honestly couldn’t tell.) She shot a smile at Steve before lifting a box with ease. 

“See ya around, Rogers,” she said with a wink before following James. Steve shook his head, not knowing what to think of his new neighbor. As he left the building and started his usual route, he almost forgot about his email inbox, about Bucky.

That didn’t last too long, however. He had hardly made it back into his building before he was pulling his phone out of his pocket and checking his email again. There it was. The reply this time was shorter, but he didn’t even care. He read it over and over as he climbed the stairs, almost crashing into the new neighbor who was coming down at the same time.

“Shit, sorry pal!” 

“Oh hey, Psycho!” They both spoke at the same time, and Steve made a face at the new apparent nickname. James only laughed and carried on his way. Steve shook his head and went back to re-reading the email, good mood only slightly dented by the odd behavior from James.

Stevie!

It’s really you! I did not expect a reply so quickly holy shit! I shoulda thought of what to say but I honestly didn’t think this far ahead. I guess I’m just really glad we’re in touch again. I wasn’t lying when I said how much I missed you. I have a really hectic few weeks ahead of me, so I might not have time to write proper emails, but I can’t lose you again.

If you want, we can exchange numbers? I know we’ve never talked like that, but I thought maybe texting would be easier? Let me know, we can keep emailing if you prefer, as long as we’re us.

Till' next time

Bucky

Steve debated over what to reply with, but in the end decided to opt for simple and to the point, sending an affirmative with far more exclamation points than necessary, followed by his phone number. He resolutely did not look at his phone for the rest of the morning, getting to work. It was only when he heard the door across the hall opening and slamming loudly that he pulled himself away from his latest project and took his phone off silent, seeing a surprising number of texts from an unknown number. He smiled softly to himself as he read through them.

_ Hi _

_ It’s bucky. Obviously. _

_ Well, maybe not obviously, idk how many ppl you’ve given ur number to recently. _

_ But anyway. _

_ Steve? _

_ This is steve right? _

_ Hello?  _

_ I checked the email and this is definitely the number you sent DID U SEND ME A FAKE NUMBER _

_ Fine, be like that _

_ (I’m not mad pls don’t think im mad im just nervous weve never talked in an instant kinda way before OKAY) _

_ Well it would be instant if u weren’t IGNORING me _

Steve rolled his eyes, amazed at how quickly they were back to such a level of comfort with each other. He typed out his reply and hit send.

**Hey Buck. It’s steve. Obviously. I wouldn’t have given you my number if I’d known you’d be such an annoying texter. I take it back.**

There was a clatter from across the hall, which he hardly registered as he saw three dots pop up on his screen.

_ No take-backs, sorry! Ur stuck with me! :P _

**Ugh, fine, jerk.**

_ Punk. _

\--


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky bond over their annoying neighbors, and Steve has an interview.

After their first text exchange, things fell into place quickly for Steve and Bucky. They weren’t the same as they were ten years ago, but they still fit. They texted every day, and Bucky really was busy, messaging about settling into a new living situation and starting classes. Steve, in turn, kept Bucky updated on annoying clients who  _ insisted _ that his color choice was totally wrong, despite his matching the initial brief to the tiniest detail. He found himself remembering just how he had felt about Bucky in high school but shut that thought down as soon as it arose. Things were already fragile enough, their friendship still healing after all these years, and Steve refused to mess it up over something as stupid as a childhood crush.

As great as things were going with Bucky, Steve found himself growing increasingly exasperated with his new neighbour. The guy hadn’t stopped referring to Steve as “Psycho,” and regularly left his trash bag outside his door, stinking up the hallway, for days at a time. Steve had walked out the door one day with his own trash, heading to the dumpster in the alley, when James opened his door carrying a backpack and started to head downstairs, completely ignoring the bulging black bag resting against the wall. Steve had pointedly looked at the bag in his own hand, and to the offending object on the floor, but James just acted as though he hadn’t noticed anything and carried on downstairs. When he got back upstairs, he texted Bucky. Because that’s what he did now.

**Neighbors are the worst**

_ UGH I know _

**Mine is just so inconsiderate and GROSS**

_ Oh god I get it, mine is the most passive aggressive person ive ever met like CHILL NOT EVERYONE IS AS PERFECT AS U we get it!!!! _

Steve laughed at the text, glad he and Bucky could bond over shitty neighbors, on top of everything else.

\--

Steve was stressed. He had been sitting at his desk for the last ten hours, trying to work out the kinks on his latest commission, but it didn’t seem to be working. He rarely got stuck like this, but this time he needed it to be perfect. This wasn’t just any other commission; this was his ticket to more stability. He loved what he did, but he hated not knowing where his next paycheck would be coming from. But this piece was for Stark Industries.  _ The  _ Stark Industries: multi-billion-dollar renewable energy corporation, and the commission had come directly from none other than Pepper Potts. There had been hints that they were looking for someone to take on a long term position with their public relations team. If he nailed this, if he managed to wrangle a permanent contract, he would never need to worry about money again.

So, he sat at his desk, staring at the screen of his tablet and trying to make sure every single detail of the design was perfect. But there was always some flaw, something that he needed to tweak, to improve, to fix. He was about ready to tear his hair out when his phone chimed, and he looked up to realise the sky had turned dark. Swiping his phone to read the message, he stood from his desk and stretched.

_ Hows the design coming along? _

**Ugh. It’s not. Ive been staring at it for so long I can’t even see it anymore.**

_ TAKE A BREAK. _

**I can’t take a break! I’m meeting with them tomorrow! I need to have it perfect!**

_ Imagine this is any other client, would they expect a first draft to b perfect? _

**… no**

_ Then y would stark b any different? _

**I know I know, I just… this is so important**

_ I know. U got this, but u gotta be rested if u wanna impress them in the meeting. _

_ Go to sleep.  _

**I just gotta finish this one thing and then I will I swear**

_ STEVE. _

_ SLEEP. _

_ NOW. _

**Fine, fine. Going to bed.**

**Night buck.**

Steve smiled down at his phone as he saved his work, backing it up several times. Bucky was right, the first draft wasn’t expected to be perfect. Stark would have feedback, just like any other client, and he just had to take it. He had worked hard on this and it showed his vision well. Now all he had to do was make sure Stark and Potts saw his vision and agreed with it.

His back ached as he made his way into the bathroom, and he felt a crack in his shoulder as he stretched again. He needed a better chair to work on. That would be first on his list when he had all that sweet, sweet, consistent income. He brushed his teeth quickly and set his alarm for the morning, before collapsing into bed, barely pausing to strip down to his boxers. He was just beginning to doze off when he heard a crash outside his front door. He bolted upright and made his way out into the hallway, hoping it wasn’t Mrs. Henderson’s cat knocking a plant pot down the stairs again. The clay had taken hours to clean up. 

It wasn’t the cat. Steve groaned when he saw James standing there, empty trash bag in hand, surrounded by garbage. 

“Sorry man, I was just trying to put it outside and it split- “

“Of course it did. Because full trash bags weren’t bad enough, now you’ve gotta make me wade through actual garbage when I leave my apartment.”

“Dude, what the fuck? This was clearly an accident, and if you had a problem with the bags you coulda’ said something, I would’ve figured something else out.”

“Yes, okay, sure. This is an accident, it better be cleaned up by the time I’m up in the morning.”

“Obviously it will, what kind of person do you think I am?” Steve didn’t respond to that, just raised an eyebrow, which was promptly returned. The silence spread between them, until Steve heard the other clear his throat. 

“What?”

“Um… It’s just... Were you just gonna stand there in your underwear watching me clean, or? I mean, not that I don’t appreciate the view, but….”

Steve turned bright red, remembering that he was just standing there mostly naked. He quickly let himself back into his apartment, calling a hasty, “Just clean it up,” over his shoulder. He was almost asleep again before the last part of what James had said registered. 

Interesting.

\--

The next day, Steve noted that the hallway had indeed been tidied up. He felt a little guilty about how he had snapped at his neighbour, and absently though he should probably make things up somehow.

**Hey buck if u were trying to apologize to your neighbor what would u do**

_ My neighbor’s a dick why would *I* apologize _

_ Urs is a dick too whatever u did im sure he deserved it _

_ Good luck w the meeting btw! _

Steve laughed at Bucky’s response and replied with a simple laughing face. He was tired last night; he probably hadn’t even been as irrational as he remembered being. As he rode down the elevator, he ran through the pitch for Stark in his head, while triple checking that his laptop was in his bag, along with the hard copy of the design. He ran through his pitch several more times on the subway ride into Manhattan, towards the looming shape of Stark Tower.

The building was ridiculous, all chrome and glass. Steve had never felt more out of place somewhere in his life. He had to give his name to someone on the front desk, and then wait for them to take his picture, scanning it into some sort of facial recognition software, before a light turned green next to the monitor. He was handed a key card and informed to wait for his name to be called, so he found a seat and prepared to twiddle his thumbs for the better part of an hour.

To his surprise, it was hardly five minutes later when his name was called out. He stood up and looked around for the source. A kid who looked no older than fifteen bounced up to him, smiling cheerfully. 

“Hey Mr. Rogers, I’m Peter, come right this way!” the kid announced, turning away and practically bouncing towards the elevators. Steve followed, slightly perturbed that he was apparently going to be interviewed by a teenager. They rode up in silence, the kid seeming to vibrate energy on a scale that made Steve’s nerves heighten.

“Right through that door there, Mr. Rogers, good luck!”

The kid darted away down the hall, leaving Steve staring at a door inscribed with the name Tony Stark. Shit. He’d take being interviewed by a child any day over going straight to the top. He wasn’t prepared to have to impress the owner of the company so soon.

Bracing himself for what was to come, he ran through the key points of his presentation again in his head before reaching out to knock on the door. His fist had hardly made contact, however, when it was pulled open and Tony Stark stood in front of him.

“Mr. Rogers! Nice to meet you, come in. I have to say, you’re not as cardigan-y as I expected, but I can deal.” Stark ushered him into the room and sat him down before he could get a word in.

“Now, show me this design you have for my new product. Pep- Ms. Potts – likes to point out the fact that I can build pretty much any technology from scratch, but I couldn’t draw a straight line to save my life. Not that straight lines are necessarily what I’m looking for, of course, but let’s see what you’ve got.”

“Mr. Stark-” Steve began, as he showed the design.

“Please, call me Tony, only the press calls me Mr. Stark.”

“Alright, Uh… Tony… As you can see this design incorporates-”

“Sweet! This is great Steve – Alright if I call you Steve? Mr. Rogers doesn’t feel right without the cardigans. I like the swirly bit here. This is great, honestly.”

“Well thanks, Mr-uh... Tony. I tried to utilize-”

“Do you mind if I make a copy of this? I gotta show it to the board for approval and meet with other designers, yadda yadda yadda, but this design is pretty damn good, I like it a lot. I’ll call Peter to show you out – Great kid, he’s a little genius if I do say so myself, not that I had anything to do with it.” Stark opened the door, barely pausing to take a breath before shouting, “PETE!” down the corridor.

Peter came bounding up like a golden retriever puppy and grinned at them both.

“Thanks for coming in today, Steve, I’ll be in touch!”

Steve hardly had a chance to stutter out a “Thanks?” before the office door was shut and he was being led by Peter back down to the lobby. He handed back the security key which he hadn’t even had to use, and the next thing he knew he was on the way home.

What a weird guy.

**Tony Stark is a maniac**

_ I fuckin knew it! Only a maniac would advertise an energy plan using himself dressed up in a red and gold flying tin can. _

_ How was the meeting _

**The dude**

**Is**

**INSANE**

**I was escorted by a 12 year old directly to starks office, who just rambled at me about cardigans and swirly things for 5 minutes and then sent me home**

_ Cardigans? _

_ Were you wearing a cardigan to a fortune 500 company head office? _

**No, of course not**

_ THEN WHY CARDIGANS??? _

**BECAUSE OF – nvm. That’s not the important thing**

_ Right…. _

_ SOOO _

_ Good meeting? _

**Hopefully?**

_ I’m sure he loved you. Gotta run, I have PT soon. Txt u l8r _

Steve laughed at the horrific text speak as he let himself into the building, waiting for the elevator as he texted a quick response wishing Bucky luck – he knew his friend always hated physical therapy and hadn’t quite brought himself to ask why it was needed – they tended to stray from the more serious topics over text. He had just put away his phone when the elevator doors opened and James emerged, smiling softly down at his own cell. Steve couldn’t help but notice it was a good look for him, but then the guy looked up and his usual scowl was back in place as soon as their eyes met. Steve shook the image from his head, and got in the elevator, replaying his meeting with Stark in his head.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve helps his neighbor with a little problem, and Sam figures something out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say thank you to everyone who has been commenting and kudosing, this fic is like my baby and it means the world to see people enjoying it! <3
> 
> Just a reminder: Steve is **bold** , Bucky is _italics_

**This is so stressful**

_ Calm down _

**Im so stressed**

_ I feel like ur not taking my advice _

**Its been a week!**

**A whole week!**

**No contact!**

_ I get that but still _

_ Nothing u can do _

_ So chill _

**WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG**

_ Jesus Christ _

_ Do u have any irl friends who can come over and distract u _

**..idk. Peg’s in LA with her girlfriend with no set return date and Sam is probably off being a grown up…**

_ Have you asked either of them? _

**…..**

**No**

_ Ur a dumbass. Txt them _

**Fine. Glad to see you don’t care about me in my time of need ☹**

_ Jesus Christ _

_ Tell me ur address and ill come over then _

**Wait really?**

_ If u really cant ask one of ur other friends. Might be weird but like u need company dude _

_ Steve? _

_ Hello? _

**Shit. Sorry. Sam just called me, he’s coming over.**

**Thanks anyway. Some other time maybe**

_ Yeah, maybe. _

**Hey Buck?**

_ Yeah? _

**You know you’re my best friend right? Even though we’ve never met.**

_ I know stevie. You’re mine too. _

Steve stared at his phone, his fingers hovering over the send icon on the message he had typed instinctively. The three words loomed in front of him on the screen. He had felt it for a while. If he was honest with himself, the flutters in his chest whenever he saw the name pop up on his phone, the smile he couldn’t help from coming to his face with every new message. But he couldn’t send the message. They were friends, that was all, and Bucky was going through a lot of shit right now. Steve didn’t want to mess with the still fragile friendship they had built up over the last few weeks, so he reluctantly erased the message and sent a smiley face instead.

He looked up from the conversation when he heard Sam knocking on the door and dropped his phone on the couch to get up and let him in. It had been a while since he and Sam had spent one on one time together, and Steve pulled him into a hug that he hadn’t realized he had needed before the door even closed behind them.

“So how’s it been, man, you had that meeting with Stark?”

“Please, don’t mention that name to me. I’m going nuts.” Steve explained the meeting from hell for Sam, who reacted at all the appropriate moments and let out a low whistle as the story ended.

“At least he seemed to like the concept?” he offered.

“Yeah, I guess. I’d feel better if I had been contacted in literally any way! Even if the fucking teenager showed up at my door I’d probably cry tears of joy.” At that, there was a knock at the door, making them both jump and then burst into laughter.

Steve stood to open the door, trying to stop laughing, but failing. James stood in the doorway, looking like he would rather be anywhere else in the world.

“Dude I really hate to do this, but the pipe is leaking, and the handyman isn’t picking up and I could quite literally use a hand.” The other man trailed off, indicating his empty left sleeve with an awkward smile.

Steve’s laughter died on his face and he heaved out a sigh. 

“Fine, just gimme a sec. I have tools around here somewhere. Hey, asshole!” he called out to Sam, as he looked for his toolbox. “I gotta go help out James with a leak. I’ll be right back. Order food!” Sam threw him a thumbs up and he made his way across the hall to where James stood, looking slightly damp now that Steve was paying attention, and held up the toolbox. “Let’s take a look.”

“It’s right through here, I wouldn’t’ve asked if I knew you had... company.”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s his turn to get food anyway.” Steve surveyed the kitchen pipe in question and saw that it was straightforward enough, just needing to be tightened in one or two spots, but Steve could see how it might be difficult to fix with only one arm.

“It seems to be an easy enough fix, you just gotta tighten it here and here,” directed Bucky, pointing at the bolts Steve had just observed. “Just a bit of a struggle for me to do it myself.”

“Yeah, I got it. Gimme a bit of space here.” James stood back as Steve made quick work of the pipe. They were completely silent as he worked, Steve trying to avoid thinking about the way the damp shirt had clung to his neighbor’s frame, and when he stood up from where he had been crouched, Steve saw James putting away his phone, looking strangely guilty.

“Should be sorted. Anything else you need?” Steve kept his voice deliberately even to disguise the effect that the image had on him, and when the guy shook his head wordlessly, Steve just nodded and walked back to his own apartment, where Sam was waiting for him, a knowing smile on his lips.

He was so fucked.

“Anything you’ve been meaning to tell me?” Sam asked with a smirk.

“Aw man come on, we’ve talked enough about me, how are things with you?” He was deflecting and it was obvious, but he hoped Sam would take pity on him.

“I’m good, Riley is talking about getting a puppy, work is the same as ever, and Mom is already asking whether or not she’ll be seeing you for Thanksgiving this year. That’s all I got, now back to you.”

Steve noticed a text on his phone and glanced at it to buy himself more time

_ Ugh why does asshole neighbor have to be so FUCKING HOT. Like tbh I wanna slam him against a wall but I also wanna like… slam him against a wall u get me _

Steve snorted with laughter and typed out a response as Sam grew visibly more impatient.

**You have no idea how much I feel this**

Steve put his phone away and braced himself for Sam’s questions. 

“Fine. I’ll spill, what do you wanna know?”

“First you can tell me about the sender of that text, because you literally fucking melted when you saw the name pop up. Then you’re telling me about that wet t-shirt model of a neighbor.” Steve cringed. He knew this conversation would have to happen sooner or later. He had been friends with Sam for a long time, and he had been there through the heartbreak caused by what had gone down between himself and Bucky at the end of high school. He took a deep breath before answering.

“Well, neighbor wise, nothing to tell. The guy’s hot, sure, but he’s also a total jerk, so that’s all there is. The text was- well, it was from Bucky.”

“Wait, Bucky?”

“That’s what I said.”

“As in, pen pal Bucky, who you spent all of high school pining over despite never actually meeting him?”

“That’s the one.”

“The Bucky who left and stopped talking to you and left you heartbroken for half a year?”

“How many people do you think I know called Bucky?”

“So, you’re back in touch? You’ve met?”

“Yes and no?” At Sam’s raised eyebrow Steve sighed, and explained the story from the start. He had never actually told his friends why he and Bucky had lost touch and he had barely wrapped up the story when their food arrived. Sam went to collect it and pay while Steve stayed on the couch, feeling uncannily like a kid waiting outside the principal’s office.

When Sam returned, laying out the food on the coffee table, he leveled Steve with a look.

“So you’re still in love with Bucky, in spite of everything?”

“Well I – Yeah, I guess so.”

“And he’s just out of the army with some unspecified injury.”

“Yep.”

“And the hot neighbor who happens to be a veteran with one arm is an asshole who you have no interest in.”

“Yea- wait, what makes you think James is a veteran?”

“I could see his dog tags through his shirt, but you were clearly focusing your gaze elsewhere.” Steve flushed. He wasn’t wrong

“Okay… What does this have to do with anything though?”

“It doesn’t.” Shrugged Sam, with an expression that clearly said it did, but before Steve could question further, Sam had stuffed his face with noodles from one of the takeout boxes and turned on Netflix. “Ooh check it out, Glee is on here now! Amazing.”

Steve sighed and reluctantly picked up his own food, settling back to watch some unrealistic (and frankly ridiculous) teen musical television. Sam was probably just trying to screw with him anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading! Mushy thought coming up:
> 
> It's a weird time in the world right now, so I hope you are all keeping safe. I'm basically stuck at home, and there are elements of my degree which can't be done online, so there's a lot of stress. I hope this story can help some of you escape for a little while, the way your comments cheer me up!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve has an encounter with his neighbor in the laundry room, and things take a turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm absolutely blown away by all of your lovely comments on this fic, I hope you enjoy this update, because things are uhh... Starting to happen between our boys.
> 
> *hides in the corner*

_Ok but taylor swift is the greatest_

**Not you too**

_?? Steve do u not like Taylor_

_Idk how we r friends_

**Ughhhh**

**Terrible neighbor has been listening to her on repeat for at least 72 hours**

**NON STOP**

**TOP VOLUME**

_Sounds like terrible neighbor is pretty cool tbh_

_I can relate to terrible neighbor_

**omg buck no**

**pls don’t**

_at least admit that tswift at LEAST is better than the broadway soundtracks my neighbor has been blaring all weekend_

**WHAT IS WRONG WITH BROADWAY**

_Omg steve no_

_Don’t tell me_

**Its ART buck.**

**ART**

_I can’t talk to u rn_

**UGH**

\--

Steve was relishing in the newfound silence of his apartment. He hadn’t had anything against her music before, but an entire weekend of being unable to hear his own thoughts over the sound of Taylor Swift blaring from James’ apartment had given Steve a pretty hefty dose of resentment toward her. But either James had found a pair of headphones, or had finally left his apartment, because it was now blissfully quiet. 

And if he somehow still managed to find himself humming Love Story from time to time, well, nobody needed to know.

He was just standing up from his desk to make a start on the laundry he had been sorely neglecting all week, when his phone rang. He reached to answer.

“Hello?”

“Good afternoon, is this Mr. Rogers?” The soft female voice was familiar, in a kind of abstract way where he wasn’t sure where he had heard it before.

“Yes Ma’am, Steve Rogers speaking. Who’s calling?”

“Apologies, Mr. Rogers. My name is Pepper Potts, we exchanged some emails regarding –“

“Oh Ms. Potts!, Of course, I remember you. Is this about the design for Stark Industries?”

“Yes exactly. I’m sorry we haven’t been in touch to arrange a meeting; do you think you would be able to come down to the offices later this week?”

“Again?”

“Pardon me?”

“Sorry Ma’am, I just… I mean you want to arrange a second meeting?” Steve glanced confusedly at the screen of his phone when he was met with silence. “Ma’am?” There was a slight rustle followed by an audible sigh from the other end of the call.

“Tony called you in himself, didn’t he?”

“He… He did. Yes. It was an… interesting meeting.”

“I can imagine. I can assure you that if you do get the job, you will not be required to work with him directly, unless you so choose.” Steve had to restrain a laugh at that.

“It’s perfectly fine, Ms. Potts. A meeting this week you say?”

“Ah, yes. Does 3 pm Thursday work for you?”

“Perfect. I’ll see you then.”

“And Mr. Rogers?”

“Yes Ma’am?”

“If you can make it through an entire meeting with Tony and not run away, then I have a feeling we will be able to find a place for you here. I look forward to meeting you.”

“Likewise, Ma’am.”

The line went dead, and Steve just stared at the screen as it went dark, attempting to understand what on earth had just happened. After several minutes, he unlocked the phone again and flung himself on the couch. The laundry could wait.

**Buck, you’ll never guess what just happened**

\--

The following day, Steve had resorted to wearing a shirt that hadn’t fit him since his growth spurt in college and resolved that today was the day he was going to do his laundry. As he walked out the door, carrying a bulging laundry bag (seriously, it had been a while), he was met with James’ redheaded friend – Natalia? Natasha? Nicola? He couldn’t quite remember, so he just smiled at her. She was looking at him oddly, as though trying to piece something together as she carried what looked like James’ trash bag down the stairs. He felt like she could see through the laundry basket, through his tiny shirt, and straight through to his bones. It was unnerving, to say the least. He turned and made his way down to the basement laundry room, trying to shake the sensation of being x-rayed. 

Headphones in, music blaring, he put on his first set of loads, using three of the six machines to make it go faster, and settled in for a long laundry day. Most people just left the machine on and went back to their apartment, but Steve actually quite liked the atmosphere down there, the soapy smell and whirr of the machines. Plus, the one time he had gone back upstairs, he had returned to find his clean, damp underwear strewn all over the place and he had had to start all over again.

Just as he was transferring the first load into the dryer and starting the second, the door opened and someone came into the room. Steve turned to shoot a greeting, to be met with the now-familiar scowl of James.

“Oh, hey.”

“Hi.”

The silence stretched until Steve shrugged and turned back around to finish putting on the cycle. When he stood back up, James was still standing in exactly the same spot, eyes fixed on him. Steve frowned slightly but brushed it off. The guy was weird. He sat back into his spot as James finally moved and put on his own, significantly more manageable amount of laundry. He couldn’t help but notice the way the man moved, with quick, precise movements. And if his eyes occasionally strayed downwards towards the guy’s ass, well, there was no way anyone could prove that. His breath caught as James looked down at his own shirt, seeming to notice a stain there, and pulled it off in a fluid motion, adding it to the load.

Steve barely had time to adjust his gaze as James turned back around, and he felt a tell-tale flush begin to spread down his neck. When he glanced back there was a trace of a smirk on the other guy’s face. Their eyes met and Steve hastily looked away. What was he doing? It didn’t matter how attractive this guy was, he was an asshole. More than that, he was an asshole who wasn’t Bucky. Steve stood up quickly and left the laundry room, pulling out his phone as he went up the stairs.

**Hey Buck**

There was no reply until Steve had drank a glass of cold water in his apartment and taken some deep breaths.

_Hey Stevie whats up? Thought u said you were busy 2day?_

**Yeah, took a break. Had an encounter with the neighbor**

_What a douche, what’d he do this time?_

**Literally nothing but he still annoys me**

_I get u. neighbors be shitty. Hows ur day otherwise?_

**Not awful I guess. Kinda peaceful till then**

_Sounds good. Id like a peaceful day, my friend was over and would not stop teasing me._

**I know how that feels, what was the teasing about?**

_Oh it was_

_Well_

_It was about you actually_

**Me?**

_Yeah. She says I should stop pining after my phone and ask to meet you……_

**Sounds familiar tbh :P**

**Why don’t we?**

**Meet up I mean.**

Steve hit send on that last message only after deleting and retyping it about a hundred times. He saw the three little dots pop up and disappear from his screen five times before he locked his phone and put it on the coffee table. He should really go down to check on his laundry, he didn’t want to just stare at his phone waiting for a reply like a lovesick teenager (even though that was generally exactly how Bucky made him feel). He stood up and moved towards the door, but at that moment his phone pinged. He couldn’t help himself, darting back over to check it. His heart sank as he read Bucky’s text.

_I don’t think that’s such a good idea Stevie._

_Sorry._

**Oh**

**that’s**

**okay then. No problem.**

Steve managed to hold it together as he typed out a reply, making it seem like not such a big deal. But it was. It would always be a big deal, Bucky was his best friend, and he was in love with the guy to boot. He heard his phone ping with a new text before he left his apartment again, but he didn’t look at it, deciding he really needed the comfort of the laundry room right about now.

Unfortunately, Steve recognized his error as he entered the room, realizing that James was still there. And still shirtless. There was scarring on his back and along his shoulder where his arm had once been, and Steve felt his eyes drawn to the way his spine arched and his shoulder blades moved as he took care of his laundry. His eyes flicked lower, admiring the broad expanse of skin on display, before he realized what he was doing.

Steve plastered what he hoped was a neutral expression onto his face and busied himself with his laundry. His brain was all over the place, flickering between Bucky’s rejection and James’ body at lightning speed. It was only when he heard the sound of a throat clearing behind him that he realized he had been staring into the machine for several minutes, not making any action to remove the clothes.

“Dude... are you alright?” James asked, and Steve scoffed in response.

“We aren’t friends. You don't have to pretend to care about how I am.”

“I’m not as much of an asshole as you seem to think I am.” Steve turned around and saw the look of what seemed to be legitimate concern on his face. He felt his face start to fall and started shoving his clothes back into the hamper. James kept glancing at his phone, as though checking for a message, and it only made Steve wish even more that he could take back the last twenty minutes. He was sure he had ruined things with Bucky and he didn’t want to go back upstairs and face what had happened.

It would have been so much easier, he thought bitterly, if he could have fallen in love with someone like James. Someone who was there, physically. Whose expressions he could read as they talked, instead of relying on emojis and punctuation and weird text-speak. But that was completely pointless thinking, James was an asshole and Bucky was the best person Steve had ever not-met and one couldn’t replace the other. 

All this ran through Steve’s head in a matter of seconds and James was still looking at him, phone in hand. He looked a bit torn up about something, too, now that Steve looked at him. The moment dragged on, the only sound in the room coming from the still-whirring machines. Was it his imagination or had James’ eyes just flickered to his lips? Steve didn’t know what he was doing, but he took a step forward.

“Shit.” James broke the silence, voice soft and almost painful. Steve stopped. “You’re right. We aren’t friends. We probably never will be.” Steve just nodded, but then James took a step towards him. He swallowed heavily.

“James, I...” Steve was surprised by how raspy his voice had gotten, and somehow the distance between himself and his neighbor was closing. “This is a bad idea”.

“A very bad idea. I agree.”

“I’m in love with someone else.”

“So am I, but fuck, Steve, I’m…” James trailed off without finishing his sentence, making a frustrated noise in the back of his throat. His eyebrows furrowed and Steve distantly thought it was actually kind of cute, but he locked that thought away. James wasn’t Bucky, he shouldn’t have been thinking these things. He shouldn’t do this. He should go back to his apartment. But Bucky didn’t want to meet him. Whatever he felt for his best friend, it clearly wasn’t requited, and here was an absolutely gorgeous man in front of him, no strings attached. 

“Fuck it.” Steve surged forward and kissed James hard on the mouth. The other man froze for a second and Steve was about to pull away, but then Bucky’s hand reached up and gripped the back of his neck, pulling him back in. It was hard and desperate, but as Steve grabbed the other man’s hips to pull him flush against him, he couldn’t bring himself to care. 

He pulled away and barely had time to admire James’ flushed expression before he was being roughly pushed back against one of the machines and James was crowding against him again, working his hand up under Steve’s too-tight shirt. He couldn’t stop the groan from escaping his lips as he felt the hard lines of the other man’s body press against his, and he quickly grabbed him by the thighs, lifting him up and turning to sit him on the machine, letting his hands wander over the exposed skin of his chest. James gasped and spread his legs further, pulling Steve in by the neck and grinding against him. 

Steve kissed down his neck frantically, pausing to bite a mark just below the ear before reaching back up to bring him in for another. It was almost tender, he thought, until he felt James’ hand reach down and start fumbling with his zipper. 

His brain suddenly came back online and he was hit once again by how stupid this was.

“Shit, James,” he murmured, breaking the kiss and grabbing the hand that was oh-so-close to perfect.

“You okay?” James pulled back and looked at him with concern.

“I’m sorry, I… I can’t.” Steve closed his eyes and hung his head, turning and flopping down to the floor gracelessly, to sit with his back against the machine. He barely registered James hopping down from where he had been perched and moving to sit next to him.

“Steve? Hey, buddy, it’s okay. It’s fine.” Steve lifted his head wearily to see James looking at him carefully. He let out a heavy breath as he took in those sad eyes, and those perfect lips bruised red. He could hardly bear the sight.

“Sorry, I just. I couldn’t.”

“I get it. No hard feelings okay? I probably woulda hated myself tomorrow if we had gone further, too. No offense.” The way James smirked as he tagged on the last bit caught Steve by surprise and he found himself laughing in spite of himself. And then he remembered Bucky and suddenly the laughter combined with bitter tears as he sat still, somehow grateful for the presence next to him.

“You said there was someone else?” he managed to say, after the silence had stretched long enough that one of the machines had stopped whirring.

“Yeah, he’s… he’s too good for me. You?” James huffed out a self-deprecating laugh as he looked at Steve.

“You know, you don’t make a good impression but I’m starting to get the idea you’re not all that bad. My guy doesn’t feel the same as I do, so I just gotta move on, but you might have a shot.”

“Your guy sounds like an idiot, to be honest. I mean, look at you!” James’ attempt to break the tension again seemed to work, because Steve laughed again.

“He doesn’t exactly… Well, it’s complicated, you know?”

“Oh, trust me, I know complicated. You okay?” James smiled, looking almost fond as Steve nodded his reply. He pulled himself up and turned to offer James his hand, pulling him up after. 

They both busied themselves with the last of their laundry, before making their way upstairs, almost amicably.

***

It wasn’t until Steve was back in his apartment, putting away his laundry, that he remembered his phone and the response from Bucky which he hadn’t been able to bring himself to read. He turned and sat down on his couch, bracing himself for what he had missed. As he read, he felt the tension he had built up begin to crumble, and though tears fell from his eyes, he felt content again, knowing he would be able to work things out.

_Maybe in a while, its just. Theres stuff you don’t know abt me yet that idk if im ready to say, about why im in therapy and stuff. Im just not ready for that._

And a more recent text, dated only a few minutes beforehand:

_Youre my best pal Stevie, I promise. You have no idea. Someday soon._

**You’re mine too Buck. Nothing can change that. Not anything.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo boy got a little steamy there for a sec! Let me know what you think!   
> I'm also on tumblr, at rainbow_nerdss so feel free to follow me and ask questions, or just talk to me about how oblivious these boys are being!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve realizes that his Neighbor is actually a decent person, and has a conversation with Sam

From then on, things changed between Steve and James. He had thought it would be awkward to bump into his neighbor again, but the first time they saw each other after the incident, their encounter was much friendlier than any they had had prior. They never went beyond merely friendly, neighborly greetings, but the morning of his big (real) interview at Stark industries, they paused in the hallway and managed to have a full, friendly conversation about the TV show which James’s shirt displayed the logo for and a class he had been taking in his engineering course. Steve found himself smiling on the subway as he made his way into Manhattan, which was surprising enough that he barely found time to be nervous for the meeting.

Stark Tower was the exact same as it was the first time Steve had visited, with the exception that this time he was escorted up in the elevator by a professional looking woman, rather than an excitable teenager, and brought to a different shiny office. The interview was a lot more conventional than the first, but when he left Steve felt that it had gone equally positively.

He texted Bucky as soon as he was out of the building, unable to hold back his optimism.

**Interview done. Good I hope??? Hdfjaerf I deserve a pastry**

_ I TOLD U IT WOULD BE FINE. Go treat urself _

**Thanks buck**

He almost skipped into the bakery near the apartment, unable to resist snapping a picture of the display to send to Bucky. His phone rang just after sending the message and he picked up as soon as he saw that it was Sam.

“Steve! How’d the interview go, man?”

“It went well, I think! Ms. Potts was pretty nice, I had an answer for everything, and she seemed to like the designs, so fingers crossed!”

“Good to hear, what are you doing the rest of the day?” Steve was almost at the top of the line to order and told Sam his plans to eat his weight in donuts and pastry cream, before going back to his designs to add some details Ms. Potts had mentioned.

“Aw, man come on! We should go out and celebrate, you can do all that tomorrow. Take a break and save me an éclair!” Steve laughed and tried to argue, but he knew Sam wouldn’t take no for an answer. They made plans to meet at Steve’s apartment, and he ordered enough pastries to feed them both before they would go to their regular bar, plus extra for his hungover self in the morning.

Steve made his way home and changed into something more casual, running a hand through his hair to remove the neatly combed look he had adopted in an attempt to look professional. He glanced at his phone and realized that Bucky had replied to his picture with a series of heart-eyes emoji, followed by a text.

_ Holy shit I know that place! Best macarons ive ever had no lie _

Steve’s eyes bugged at the implication. Bucky knew his favorite bakery. What if they had been there at the same time? They could have been in line behind each other any number of times and had no idea. His mind was still reeling when there was a knock at his door and he opened it to let Sam in. 

Sam was not, however, standing on his own, but instead was talking to James’ friend Natasha, in hushed voices. They shut up quickly when Steve opened the door, and Natasha turned to knock on the neighbor’s door. Steve shot a curious look at Sam as he came in, but he shrugged it off, going straight for the box of treats on the coffee table. 

“How are things with the neighbor by the way? Any more drama?” Sam asked and Steve felt himself flush.

“Uh... No, no drama. In fact, I think I misjudged him. He’s not so bad.” Sam only raised an eyebrow in response.

“Well that’s good to hear, because he and Natasha will be joining us tonight.” Steve almost choked on the donut he had just taken a very large bite out of. When he finally managed to swallow, he tried to regain whatever modicum of nonchalance he could before responding.

“Oh, yeah sure. Is that what you were talking to Natasha about?” Sam nodded in reply, since his mouth was now full of éclair, and Steve attempted to figure out what the hell was going on.

“Dude, are you sure there’s no drama? All good?”

“Yup, totally good. We’re just friendly neighbors who hang out at bars now, I guess.” He probably overshot the coolness on that one and he could feel the flush spreading across his face as Sam’s eyes once again turned suspicious.

“Steve.”

“Yeah?”

“Did you fuck your neighbor?” Steve froze and spluttered out a response, hoping there would be no further questions.

“N- no I didn’t fuck my neighbor!” Sam’s expression told him he wasn’t buying it, and Steve knew he had to elaborate, so he finally spilled about what had happened the other day.

“Jesus Christ Steve, the laundry room? Are you kidding me?”

“We didn’t actually do anything but kiss, Sam.” This was met by a scoff from his best friend.

“Yeah, like we don’t both know that’s barely true.” Steve huffed out a laugh as he shoved the rest of his donut into his mouth and stood up to go brush his teeth before they left. Sam called him back before he left the room though, to add, in a softer voice.

“You need to think about why you called it off though, okay? It’s not healthy to stay pining after a guy you’ve never met, so you need to either take the next step with Bucky or try to get over him.” Steve swallowed and smiled sadly.

“I know, man. I just need time.”

“And I’ll be here every step of the way. Now go get rid of all that frosting on your face so we can get out of here, it’s disgusting.” They both laughed as Steve retreated into his bathroom and ten minutes later, they were out of the apartment and knocking on James’ door. 

As the door opened, revealing James wearing a ripped t-shirt under a deliciously soft looking leather jacket, Steve had to stop himself from reaching out and he found himself wishing, not for the first time, that there was some way of easily reconciling his desire for James, with his love for Bucky. 

Maybe befriending James was going to be a mistake, he mused as he heard the man laugh at something Natasha had said on the short walk to the bar, but there was no going back now.

* **

**Ughhhhhh I hate alcohol**

_ Not what your texts last night seemed to imply but ok _

**UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH**

_ That bad? _

**Never let me drink again its not worth it.**

_ Ill do my best _

Bucky added a laughing emoji to his reply and Steve smiled from his cocoon on the sofa. What did Bucky look like when he laughed? Did he scrunch up his nose with a toothy grin? Maybe he was more of a subtle smile and wrinkled eyes type. His traitorous mind summoned up an image of James from last night, laughing out loud at something Nat had said. His eyes had almost closed with mirth as he ducked his head, wide smile and dimpled chin accentuated. Steve shook his head in frustration. He had to sort himself out or he’d drive himself crazy, pining after two different men, neither of whom he could say he knew very well.

His eyes scanned the conversation again and his brain came back online. Texts from last night? Had he been drunk texting Bucky? He scrolled back up through the chat and read through what he had said.

**hi im drubk**

**drink**

**drunk**

**lol**

_ hi drunk im bucky _

_ im akso drinking tho lol _

**u kno whats weird**

_? _

**we like**

**live so close to each other**

**like we go to the same bakery**

**what if youre the cute guy who bought the last eclair last week?????**

_ i prefer macarons _

_ but yeah _

_ weird _

**we could be at the same bar rn and have no clue**

**wt do u look like?**

**i bet ur cute**

_ idk _

_ u probably wouldnt look twice at me irl _

_ im kinda messed up _

**nope**

**ive decided ur hot**

**no arguments**

**theres only one way to prove me wrong yuo know ;) ;) ;)**

_ ur the best _

**no U**

**did i mntion im drunk**

**gna go home.**

**sleeeeeeeeeeeep**

**buck?**

_ sleep tight _

**lov u**

Steve cringed as he read the messages. Bucky hadn’t replied to the last message, but it had been late. He had been slow at replying the last couple of times, so he probably had just been falling asleep right? No need to overthink anything. He was hungover, still in his pajamas, and it was past midday. As much as he wanted to stay like this pondering his confusing mess of a love life, he still had things he needed to accomplish today. He opened his laptop to check his emails, only to see one from Stark industries. He let out a breath and closed the laptop again. Coffee. He was definitely gonna need coffee for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so not a huge amount happened here, but things are really going to start wrapping up next chapter!   
> There will be 9 chapters total, plus an epilogue, by the way :)  
> Comments are <3 let me know what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and his neighbor bond over unrequited loves, and Steve finally takes a step in the right direction.

Two hours after seeing the email in his inbox from Stark Industries, Steve had dressed, showered and made his way to the coffee shop on the corner. He ordered his usual and took a seat in the corner, out of direct sunlight and cool enough that he didn’t feel sick. He took out his laptop and was connecting to the WiFi when he spotted a familiar figure approach.

“Hey neighbor.”

“James, hi! How’s your head?”

“Physically? Fine.” James laughed. “I think I drank just a little less than you. Mentally? Well, it’s a long story.”

“That I can relate to. Wanna sit? I’m just doing some work.” James shrugged and sat down and Steve noticed the reusable coffee cup in his hand. “That is, unless you were going-”

“It’s cool, I was just gonna grab this and head home anyway, but I can hang around. What kind of work?” Steve was just opening his mouth to explain the whole situation when his coffee arrived. He thanked the barista and gave James a reduced version of the story.

“I’ve been interviewing for a new job and I’ve just heard back. Needed caffeine before I could face it.” Deciding coffee was more urgent than the email right now, he took a long sip, closing his eyes as he felt the warmth run through him. When he opened them again, James was watching him with an odd expression.

“What’s up?” James startled.

“Oh, uh, nothing, just - just thinking. Sometimes you remind me of someone I- Well. It’s nothing.” Steve shrugged and took another sip of coffee.

“Who is he?” Steve couldn’t help but ask. Stark could wait until the coffee was finished. James shook his head and put his coffee on the table, sighing.

“It’s a long story.”

“The same long story?” James laughed at this, but followed it with a nod.

“The same one. Nat says I’m being an idiot, but-”

“But there’s too much at stake to risk it? I get that.” James smiled at that.

“This might be a weird question.”

“Go for it.”

“You’ve seen me without my shirt on.” Steve’s eyes bugged. Whatever he had expected, this wasn’t it.

“Not a question, but yeah. I have.” 

“Well, it’s just, that time in the laundry room, you still, well...“ And Steve got it.

“Hey, James. Stop. You are fucking stunning.” Steve felt himself turn beetroot. “I swear, he’d have to be a fucking idiot not to wanna tap that.”

“You didn’t.”

“I never claimed not to be a fucking idiot.” James laughed and Steve found himself continuing. “If I wasn’t so hung up on someone else, who I can’t have, well... You’re great, James, contrary to first impressions. And this guy? He’s gotta see that too. If he doesn’t, send him my way and I’ll have a few choice words for him.” James smiled softly, and nodded.

“Thanks, man. I needed to hear that. Same goes for you and your guy. I hope it works out, you deserve it.” Steve smiled wistfully and held up his coffee cup.

“To being idiots.” James grinned at the sentiment and clinked his travel cup against Steve’s mug.

“To being idiots,” he repeated, before standing up. “I’ll leave you to do your work. See you around Steve.” 

“See ya James.”

As he walked away, Steve turned his attention back to his laptop, opening the one from Stark feeling a lot more collected than he had on his first attempt earlier in the day. He scanned through the email, hardly taking in the content after the first line. He hardly even thought, just took out his phone and dialed the number of the one person he wanted to share this with.

“Buck!”

“Steve? Is that you?”

“It’s me and guess what!” He didn’t pause for a response, just barreled on. “Stark emailed! I got the job! I mean it’s not permanent, and it’s basically just keeping me on retainer as a regular freelancer, but that just means I’m not locked in and I can still take other jobs here and there, but it’s  _ Stark Industries. _ This is huge!” 

“I knew you’d get it! I’m so happy for you.” Bucky’s voice was slightly muffled, he must have had a poor connection, and it’s only in that moment that Steve realized they had never actually spoken on the phone before. There was a pause in the conversation which seemed to last for about a year, before Steve cleared his throat. 

“Thanks Buck. You’ve honestly kept me sane through this whole process.”

“Hey, no, it’s cool. You deserve it.” And Jesus Christ, if that wasn’t so painfully close to what James had told him about Bucky. 

“Thanks, Buck. I should go, uh, reply to the email. I just… Had to tell you I guess.” He laughed bashfully and heard a matching sound on the other end of the line.

“Sure thing. Talk to you again?” It sounded like a question and Steve could hear a hopeful note behind it.

“Yeah, definitely. Bye Buck.”

“Bye Stevie.” Steve smiled at his phone for almost a full minute after disconnecting and spent time composing a suitably grateful reply to Stark’s email in order to set up a meeting. He finished the rest of his coffee and spent some time clicking around on the internet. He was about to close out of the browser, when a new email from Bucky popped up. It was long, he must have started writing it right after they hung up. Deciding to save it for when he got home, he shut down his laptop and left the coffee shop, practically skipping the block and a half back to his apartment building. 

He was slightly surprised to meet James leaving again as he entered the front door. He was just exiting the stairwell, an almost dreamy smile on his face. Steve couldn’t help himself. He hugged James cheerfully, almost bouncing with his excitement. Between the job, and speaking to Bucky, he was over the moon. 

“I got the job! Stark industries! I got it!” James’ smile froze on his face, replaced by an unreadable expression, but Steve hardly saw through his haze of elation.

“Stark? You - You got a job with Stark?”

“Graphic design!! I’ve gotta go make sure I have everything ready! See you soon!” 

He ran up the stairs to his apartment, leaving a gobsmacked James standing in the entryway, frozen to the spot in surprise.

***

Steve spent the rest of the day in a haze, hangover forgotten. He called Sam to tell him the good news, and thought about what this meant for him. 

A job. A job with health insurance, and benefits, and security. And he could still take commissions and freelance on the side! It was honestly a dream come true and he couldn’t wait for his first meeting with the design team he was going to join. He was so full of energy that he barely sat still and managed to power through the few household chores he had been putting off all week.

By the time he had calmed down enough to sit down on his sofa and actually think, it was dark out and he felt his stomach rumble. He took out his phone to order a pizza, and smiled at the memory of Bucky’s voice. Then he remembered the email. How could he have forgotten? He finished his order and hastily opened his emails again.

Hi Stevie.

It’s been a while since we talked like this, but I don’t think this will work over text.

I’ve been a little shady with the facts about my life and I’m so glad you could accept that I wasn’t ready to share, but. I was talking to a friend of mine and I think I’m ready to fill you in. 

You were right, way back then. The army is shit. They lure you in with false promises, chew you up and then spit you out when you aren’t useful to them anymore. I got hurt. Lost an arm. Got a little fucked in the head too, along the way. That's what the therapy is for, both physical and otherwise.

So yeah. That’s where I’m at, and that’s why I was wary of meeting up, but this friend got me thinking, and I think I’m ready. I trust you and I wanna meet you. It’s been long enough. Text me? please? Once you get this, if that’s something you’d be up for.

Till next time,

Bucky.

Steve heart was racing. That was a lot to take in. Bucky’s story, well. Steve cringed a little at the mention of their fight. Steve had been pretty judgmental about his friend’s choice back then, and wished with all his heart that he had been wrong. But he wanted to meet. Steve hastened to send a text back, unable to process more than the surface level of what the email implied.

**Hey buck! It was nice talking to you earlier. I got your email, and of COURSE I want to meet you. Nothing could change that. Ever.**

He locked the phone again and loaded the first thing in his Netflix queue to occupy his mind while he waited for a reply. By the time his pizza arrived, there was still nothing.

**Buck? Are you ok?**

The pizza was gone, and there was still no reply.

**I’m really worried, please reply**

**I know that email was probably really difficult to send, it was so brave of you, please don’t shut down**

**Buck?**

**Please reply, i just wanna know that you’re okay**

But the reply never came. Steve’s good mood gradually faded as the night went on, until he went to bed feeling nothing but confusion. Bucky had seemed fine on the phone and the email showed he was making progress, so why was he shutting Steve out now? Maybe his phone was dead, or lost or broken? There was probably a totally reasonable explanation, he reassured himself as he dozed off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to wrap up!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve looks back at some old emails, and finally takes a step forwards. (Also, Peggy makes an appearance!)

The next morning, there was still no reply from Bucky, but Peggy had sent a photo of herself holding a bag of pastries and standing outside Steve’s building less than five minutes ago, so he pulled himself out of bed, pulling on some sweatpants and an old shirt to let her up. 

“You didn’t say you were back in town!” He grinned, pulling her into a hug and letting her into the apartment. They caught up, Steve struggling not to check his phone every five minutes, until she got a text from Sam announcing his arrival and sent Steve to let him in. When he opened the door, however, Sam was already in the hallway with Natasha.

“Hey  _ Steve. _ I hear congratulations are in order?” The way she said his name sounded like there was some hidden meaning behind it which he couldn’t place his finger on, so he just nodded. It took him a second to remember what the congratulations were for and he thanked her awkwardly at first, following up with a better one once his brain came back online.

“Oh, uh thanks- Yeah thanks, it’s a great job opportunity!” She clearly saw right through his fumble, because she rolled her eyes and turned back to Sam. 

“Nice talking to you again, Sam. I gotta go check on this one. Seems he’s had a bit of a shock to his system. Something about being a blind idiot?” The pair laughed at something which was clearly an inside joke, but which left Steve confused.

“Is he okay? Is this about that guy he’s into? Shit, I hope this isn’t my fault, I just said-”

“It’s alright, big guy. He’ll be fine. Now let me in so we can eat these celebration pastries!” Sam elbowed past him into the apartment and gave Peggy a hug in greeting as Natasha put her key in James’ lock to open the door. Steve hovered in the doorway for a minute until he felt something squishy hit him in the back of the head. 

When he reached up to feel it, his hand came away covered in pastry cream.

“Oh no, you didn’t!” He picked up the éclair which had been thrown by his asshole best friend and threw it back, missing Sam by a fraction of an inch and smearing on the wall behind him. 

“You better clean that up,” he muttered, closing the door and throwing a dishcloth to Sam.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s what you get for staring at your neighbor’s closed door for an hour when I went out of my way to bring you these delicious treats, and-” 

“Shut up, Sam”

“You got it.” Sam wiped the wall where the pastry had hit and tossed the mangled dessert in the trash. Peggy finally piped up.

“Care to explain why you’re weird today? Shouldn’t you still be riding the  _ new job _ high?” 

Steve just shrugged.

“It’s nothing, I just- “ He sighed. “I think I screwed up - With Bucky.”

“How so?”

“Well, I was so excited with the job offer, that I called him. We never - We’ve never spoken on the phone before and I think he was a little taken aback by it. He emailed saying he wanted to meet up, but I took too long to respond I think, and now he won’t reply to my messages.”

They were both silent, munching on a donut he had drawn from the box, and Steve felt his fingers itch to check his phone. Still nothing.

“You’ve texted him since the call?” Sam asked and Steve nodded. “Then it’s down to him. God knows this is the slowest relationship I have ever witnessed, but still sounds like the last day has been a bit of a rush for you both. He’ll reply eventually.” Sam punctuated this statement by passing the pastry box over. 

“Now. Eat up, wash the cream out of your hair, and get dressed.” Steve looked at them curiously, until Peggy explained.

“We’re getting you some new office-appropriate clothing since you’ve been working exclusively out of your bedroom for the last year and a half.” Steve just nodded and did as he was told.

They spent a good few hours shopping, Sam giving him the evil eye every time he tried to surreptitiously check his messages, until Peggy confiscated his phone for the rest of the afternoon.

There was still no reply when he went to bed that night. The same the next day. He came and went from the apartment, feeling untethered, loose, and lost. He couldn’t help but notice James had retreated into the apartment, not even a trash bag left outside the door for the next week. Natasha had been by a few times, he had seen her collecting James’ mail from the foyer, but the man didn’t seem to have left his apartment, even for the classes and appointments he usually had. Steve blinked at the realization that he basically knew the guy’s schedule already, despite only having been friendly for a few weeks at this stage.

It was strange. Steve had spent less than three months since he had been back in touch with Bucky, but he didn’t know how to act now that he wasn’t getting texts from him throughout the day anymore. He found himself opening up their chat window, typing something out only to delete it, hearing Sam’s voice in his head.

He re-read their old exchanges instead, even going so far as to log back into his old email address to read those too. There was one exchange in particular he found himself reading over and over again.

_ Hey Stevie! _

_ how’s your summer going? Its funny, everyone at school is away and i thought id feel lonely but i actually dont. why would i feel lonely when my best friend is right here? weird right? since technically you’re not here. but you’re as here as you ever are. that doesnt make any sense does it? hahaha _

_ sorry, i’m rambling. you mentioned all your friends were starting to date in your last email, same here. it’s weird. it’s like they all realized girls exist and now they can’t think of anything else lol. you’re wrong though, about me being like that too. ive been thinking about that a lot and _

_ well. _

_ i actually think i might be gay? _

_ shit i really just typed that. I’ve never said that before to anyone. I felt like i needed to tell you though, because you- well. I hope you’d be okay with it? I mean you’ve mentioned people you know who are and you seemed ok with them so i hope its ok. _

_ ive been rewriting this for an hour so i’m just gonna hit send and panic until i get a reply.  _

_ Till next time (I hope), _

_ Bucky _

**Bucky,**

**HOW DARE YOU EVEN INSINUATE THERE MIGHT NOT BE A NEXT TIME. YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND AND NOTHING IS GOING TO CHANGE THAT, ESPECIALLY NOT THIS.**

**I actually think i might be gay too. or bi, i’m not sure, i mean Peggy is beautiful and wonderful but i definitely think i like guys too. so, yeah. nothing to worry about here.**

**My summer is going pretty great actually, now. it was pretty boring for a bit but you’re right. my best friend is here, even if you aren’t “here here”.**

**Your (Best) penpal,**

**Steve.**

*******

Steve met with Stark again on the following Monday and he forced himself to push all thoughts of Bucky out of his head. He had all his sketches ready, from the email briefs he had already been sent to prepare and he went into the meeting with no insignificant amount of trepidation. The building was just as intimidating as it had been the first two times, but at least he was able to sign in at reception and get his own badge to go up. They took a photo to put on it and once it was printed, he noticed the bags which had appeared under his eyes. 

He had been up late the previous night, tossing and turning, wanting nothing more than to text Bucky about his nerves, but he couldn’t. He had even considered texting James, but he felt weird about that, almost as if he were replacing Bucky. Besides, he realized he didn’t even have James’ number in his phone, so it would be pointless.

He shook himself and went up, finding the meeting room easily. He was introduced to the team, recognizing the kid from his first interview (“Hi, I’m Peter the intern, we met before!”), and trying his best to remember the rest of the names as he was given them. 

There was Thor, the giant of a man who would be difficult to forget; Bruce, the shy, quiet man, who shook his hand with surprising strength; Wanda, the woman wearing all red who spoke with a slight accent; and Maria, who Steve thought would get along well with Natasha. There were also a few more who Steve knew he would need to meet a few more times to remember their names, but there would be time for that over the next few weeks. He was so overwhelmed with information that he managed not to think about his phone for the duration of the meeting.

The team seemed friendly and open, and they were very receptive to Steve’s ideas. He was feeling very positive as he made his way home, only checking his phone by instinct as he opened his door. He froze, seeing the message which had been received almost an hour before.

_ hi _

Just one word, but Steve’s hands shook as he tried to reply, only to see the other man was typing a follow up as he watched. He waited with bated breath until the message came through.

_ sorry for the radio silence, I've had a lot to think about _

_ we should meet. _

Steve’s breath left him in a rush. He was standing still in his doorway, and forced himself to walk to the sofa and sit down before he fainted.

**It’s so good to hear from you**

**Are you sure?**

_ I’m sure. it’s just _

_ I want to prepare you _

_ I’m not who you think i am _

**I know you buck**

**I’ve known you for years**

**where? when?**

_ Tomorrow? The bakery? _

**Yes**

**Perfect**

**I can’t wait.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally happening! What do you think will happen at the bakery?   
> (Also, I posted a quick Cartinelli drabble, if anyone is interested check out my profile!)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet (Officially)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here it is, finally! The moment we've all been waiting for...

Steve didn’t know how he managed to contact Sam, but soon enough, his friend had arrived, looking concerned.

“You okay, man? I couldn’t make much sense of your text so I thought I should - “ Steve just held out his phone, eyes bugging and mumbling incomprehensibly.

“Oh, damn, okay. Told you he’d come around. You doing okay?”

“I’m- Yeah, I just. Shit, Sam what do I  _ wear?”  _ Steve rushed into his room and began searching through his wardrobe for something suitable. “What do I wear to meet the love of my life? What did he mean he isn’t who I think he is? He hasn’t been lying to me all these years, has he? Oh god, what if he doesn’t actually like me like that? What if he meant he’s actually straight and didn’t want me to be disappointed?” Sam cut off his rambling by forcibly grabbing his shoulders and making him sit on the edge of the bed.

“Okay, first of all, I can guarantee he likes you. He's been texting you basically non-stop for the last however many months. You don’t do that if you aren’t interested. Second, he isn’t going to care about what you’re wearing. Finally, trust me on this, and don’t ask how I know this: he hasn’t been lying to you and neither of you will be disappointed when you meet. Now, I’m gonna leave you since you’re clearly not in actual, physical danger and Riley was in the middle of making dinner for us. Just relax and enjoy your date.” Steve nodded, dumbfounded, and only registered Sam’s last as he heard the door open and close. He stood and ran to the door, shouting down at his friend on the stairway.

“What if it’s not a date and I end up humiliating myself? SAM?” But there was no answer and Steve was left standing outside his apartment to figure this out for himself. His phone buzzed with a text.

_ It’s a date. _

He read the message with a smile, and he felt warmth spread through his body. It was going to be okay. This was Bucky. The same Bucky he had spent his entire teen years knowing and loving. The same Bucky he had fallen back in love with from almost the exact moment they had rekindled their friendship. 

He spared a glance at James’ door and felt a twinge of guilt as he let himself back into his apartment. He hadn’t been solely focused on Bucky for these few months, he reminded himself, hoping his neighbor was alright. He made a mental note to check in after meeting Bucky. He felt bad that things seemed to be working out for him, while James was clearly going through a rough patch. He may have chosen Bucky, but he wanted to keep the tentative friendship which had developed since James had moved in across the hall.

***

Steve didn’t know how he managed to sleep at all that night, dreams of a faceless Bucky mingling with new faces from Stark industries, Sam and Riley, and even James flooded his dreams until he woke up feeling even more confused than he had been the night before.

After eating a quick breakfast and going for a run to calm his nerves, he texted Bucky.

**When will we meet? and How will I know you?**

_ around 3? I have physio today.  _

_ You’ll know me. I’ll be holding a red rose  _

**wow, you really are a romantic, huh?**

_ I hope so _

Steve smiled softly at his phone, unable to believe that today was really the day. It was almost five hours until the date, but he felt himself unable to sit and get work done while he waited, so he spent time in the shower, then picking out his outfit and fixing his hair. Once he was ready, it was still barely noon. He picked up a sketchbook and doodled idly for a while, but soon found himself drifting into a daydream. He stood suddenly and decided to leave early. If Bucky was getting him a rose, he should get him something in return.

As he left the building, he saw James walking in. He beamed and James jumped, hiding something behind his back, before nodding and smiling awkwardly. Steve just shrugged and went to the florist around the corner to pick up a rose for Bucky. He debated getting a more elaborate bouquet, but figured there would be plenty of time for that.

Eventually, three o’clock drew closer and Steve figured he could head to the coffee shop. He practically skipped down the street and peeked in the window, wondering if Bucky was there yet. 

Opening the door, he spotted a familiar head of brunette hair, recognizing James sitting in the same corner spot they had shared the day Steve had gotten the job offer from Stark. He smiled at the memory and turned to look for Bucky. But then his eyes turned back to James in surprise. Was that-

James had stood up, looking incredibly nervous. A tentative smile was on his face, and in his hand was-

It couldn’t be. Steve took a step towards him, mouth falling open. James was holding a single red rose, almost exactly like the one Steve was clutching. But then...

“Hi Stevie.” Steve closed the distance between them slowly, unsure whether to laugh or cry. He felt himself smiling as he reached out to touch the flower gently.

“I’m an idiot, aren’t I?” They both laughed softly, as though anything louder would damage the moment. “How long have you known?” he asked.

“Since you got the job with Stark. After I sent the email.” And James - no, Bucky - was looking at him so tenderly, so nervously that Steve felt his heart swell.

“I think I wanted it to be you.” He felt himself say, before his emotions caught up with him and he threw his arms around the man before him, tears starting to leak from his eyes. He felt Bucky’s arm come up to wrap around him in return, still clutching the rose tightly. They held each other for what felt like a lifetime and then pulled away just enough to wipe their tears and laugh at their foolishness.

Steve found himself looking at James and seeing Bucky for the first time in his life. Their eyes met and held for a moment and then, for the second time, their lips were meeting. But this time, it was soft and sweet, full of love and years of longing, and the complete antithesis of their first kiss.

“You aren’t disappointed, then?”

“Buck, I love you. You may be a terrible neighbor, but I’ve been in love with you since we were fifteen and I barely knew what love was.” And Steve vowed right then to do everything he could to keep that expression on Bucky’s face. “What do you say we head home? The coffee shop might be a bit public for tearful reunions” Bucky nodded and took Steve’s hand in his. Steve felt his heart flutter as they walked out, barely registering that neither of them had even ordered a coffee.

They spent the afternoon in Steve’s apartment and it felt completely natural. 

“Do you think it’s weird that it’s not weird?” he had asked at one point.

“I don’t know, I mean. It’s like we used to say. Even when you weren’t with me, you were. It’s just us.” And wow, Steve loved kissing Bucky. It was great. He would happily spend the rest of his life kissing Bucky if he could, but just then his phone buzzed.

Well, was I right?

**Yes sam you were right.**

Good. Tell James Natasha says hi.

**YOU KNEW?????**

Sam didn’t reply, but Steve didn’t really care. He was curled up on the sofa with the love of his life, who just so happened to be the same guy he had been thirsting after across the hall, and he could figure out how to get back at Sam for not telling him sooner another time. Right now, there were much more important things to do and a lot of lost time to make up for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it! Let me know what you think! There'll be an epilogue on Monday, and then that's it. thank you all so much for following along <3


	10. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here we are. Thank you SO much to everyone who has been following this little story from the beginning, and those of you who joined in along the way. Your comments were little bright spots in the long days of isolation, and I hope my chapters could do the same for you. Enjoy the epilogue <3

Later, they would laugh about how blind they had been. Looking back through their conversations, the complaints they had made about each other, the obvious signs which they had somehow managed to miss in their stubborn unwillingness to talk to each other. Sam and Nat, it had turned out, had them figured out from the beginning, and had been betting about how long it would take them to figure themselves out.

Steve wanted to be irritated that they had kept it secret, but he could really only blame himself, as they had dropped plenty of hints which he should have picked up on. As much as he regretted the fact that they had wasted so much time disliking each other, and fighting their attraction, it was worth it for leading to the way they were now. 

For the first few months, they had split their time between their apartments, until it gradually became difficult to tell the difference between the two. Half of Steve’s belongings had migrated to Bucky’s apartment and his closet had just as much of Bucky’s clothes as his own. 

“Alright, that’s it!” Bucky exclaimed one day, after spending an hour searching for his phone charger in his own apartment, only to find it in Steve’s living room. Steve looked up from where he had been working on his latest project for Stark with a questioning look. 

“What’s it?” he asked.

“We’re picking an apartment and staying there. This is getting ridiculous. I don’t even know which closet my shirts are in anymore!” Steve’s heart flipped.

“Is this your way of asking me to move in with you?” He grinned and stood from his desk, standing in front of his boyfriend and moving into his personal space.

“Steve, I love you but you’re an idiot.” Steve got a slightly hurt, confused look on his face and Bucky hastened to elaborate. “We already live together, doofus. We just need to move that to one singular apartment.” Steve grinned and pulled him closer, resting their foreheads together.

“I like the sound of that. Your place or mine?”

“I mean they’re basically the same layout, right? I mean, my mattress is comfier.”

“True, but mine has more natural light.”

“My mattress, your apartment? Sounds good to me.” And with that decided, Bucky leaned forward and pressed their lips together. Steve would never stop marveling at the sensation of kissing Bucky, as much as he had done so over the last few months. It was a soft, sweet kiss, which felt like coming home.

The next day, they moved all of their things to Steve’s apartment and disposed of anything they didn’t need two of, including Steve’s old mattress. It was surprisingly quick work, but by dinner time, they were collapsed on the sofa, half on top of each other and too exhausted from the work to move.

“Pizza?” suggested Steve, sleepily, and Bucky agreed, fishing out his phone and placing their usual order. They opened Netflix on Steve’s TV and passed the evening contentedly watching silly rom-coms, grumbling over who’s turn it was to get up for the pizza when it arrived and eyeing each other over the last slice.

When the movie had finished, Steve stood and stretched, bringing the boxes over to the almost full trash can. 

“I’m gonna bring this down. Turn off the TV?” Bucky grinned and shot Steve a thumbs-up. Steve knew now how Bucky struggled with carrying the trash bag down to the dumpsters, as he had to keep putting it down to open doors and the dumpster lid. He felt guilty for the way he had acted about it before, because it made perfect sense.

When he returned to their - Their! apartment, the TV had been turned off, along with the lights in the living room, so that the only light was pouring out from the open bedroom door. Steve washed his hands in the bathroom and made his way in to Bucky, who was dressed for bed in just a pair of low-slung pajama pants. He was propped up, reading a book, and Steve just stood in the door watching him for a few moments, until he noticed a smirk forming on his boyfriend’s face.

“Are you just gonna stand there staring at me, or are you coming to bed?” he asked, cheekily. Steve grinned in response and started undressing. He went a little slower than usual, aware of how quickly Bucky’s attention had slipped from the book which was now lying face down on his chest. When he was down to his underwear, he made eye contact with Bucky again and made his way to the bed, pausing next to it.

Bucky licked his lips and uttered a soft “Fuck,” before moving so he was kneeling up in bed next to where Steve stood and crashed their mouths together. Slowly, Steve urged him back down and crawled on top of him.

They moved as one, as familiar with each other’s bodies as they were with their own. Steve knew exactly how to make Bucky keen and wriggle closer, and he felt his own breath catch as Bucky kissed that spot just below his ear. Steve felt another overwhelming surge of love as he felt Bucky’s hand touching his bare skin and whispered the three words which had become as natural as breathing as he tumbled over the edge.

“I love you.”

They fell asleep tangled up in each other, but when Steve woke he was alone.

He rubbed his eyes as he made his way out to the kitchen, pulling on a pair of shorts as he went. There was a note stuck to the fridge with a magnet.

_ Stevie, _

_ Just popped out to pick up something for breakfast, to commemorate our official first day living together. What do you think about inviting the guys over for a housewarming (or whatever it’s called if you’re living in the same place you have for years?). I’ll text Nat, you ask Peggy and Sam. Tell them to bring Angie and Riley too, and Nat can bring Clint. It’s been too long since we had everyone together.  _

_ P.S. I love waking up next to you. _

~~_ Till next time _ ~~

_ Till the end of the line, _

_Bucky._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there you have it! Let me know what you think!  
> I was thinking I might write a little snippet from Bucky's POV, if that is something you might be interested in? Let me know!  
> In the meantime, follow me on tumblr - I'm at rainbow_nerdss, and feel free to message/ask me anything there!

**Author's Note:**

> This is now part of a series, and there is a follow up from Bucky's POV, so do check that out! <3


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